kingbowser | 01 - video/action for Goldenrod Rocket Base;

[Those in the Rocket Base are sure to hear some... interesting sounds. Sounds of fists pounding, and of some guy... roaring? Yes, roaring. Seems one of the new recruits is a bit of an oddball.

And it won't be long until Bowser bursts into the hall, fists clenched, his lips pulled back to reveal some gigantic, pointed teeth... highly unnatural for a human. Behind him toddles a Turtwig, who rolls her eyes as she trails behind him. Why did she have to get stuck with a crazy one?]

Graaaah! When I get my hands on the one who did this to me, I'll smash 'em into the ground and take back what's rightfully mine! That Star Rod's gotta be around here somewhere...

[Somebody may want to intervene. This guy's packing a lot of muscle and some pretty huge fists, after all.]

[Later, once he figures out how to use the PokéGear, expect a shot of one very angry man... and also, teeth. Seriously, what's with this dude?]

Listen up, because I'm only gonna say this once! If you're the chump who placed this blasted curse on me, you better step forward now, or you'll be facing the full fury of the Koopa Troop! And as their King, nobody's allowed to make a mockery of me, you hear that?!

It was a gutsy move dragging me outta my castle and separating me from the Star Rod. The fact that you turned me into a fleshy mammal would almost impress me, if it weren't so infuriating! So, if you're smart, you'll step forward, beg for my mercy, and change me back! If not...

[He chuckles.]

Well, have it your way.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Grrrgh. That's because the rest of my army's out scouting!

Oh? And what does the rest of your army consisssst of? Another turtle?

[If he has more than one Pokemon already, that means this guy is probably a Rocket. And Cobra is therefore glad he transferred out of training.]

Most of my Koopa Troop consists of Koopas. But if you mean the other monster...

[Bwa ha ha.]

It's going to become a terrifying creature of the sea!

[There's that word again.]

What exactly are these Koopa things you keep mentioning?

[Not familiar with video games here, nope.]

They're my treacherous turtle underlings! Some soar in the sky, others unleash terrifying spells from their arsenal of magic. They come in different shapes and sizes, and they all follow my commands!

[Except for those wimps in Koopa Village and Petalburg and some other places, but details. He is not giving them.]

[He's trying really hard not to laugh. Sorry, Bowser. It's just, wow, even Cobra's having trouble taking an army of turtles seriously.]

You have an army of turtles? That's ridiculousssss!

Edited 2012-11-19 21:50 (UTC)

Don't underestimate the power of my Koopa crew! Their shells provide utmost protection, and their sheer numbers could level any city. And that's nothing! My Magikoopas could turn you into a puny little mushroom if they wanted, and I've got plenty more minions at my disposal.

Living bombs that create enormous explosions! Cannons that fire deadly bullets and Piranha plants that could snap you in two!

And that doesn't even cover my armada of air ships.

[Seriously, it's all awesome, okay.]

[A mushroom.

He's not sure if that's better or worse than being turned into a snake monster.]

Oh please, none of that is impressive when compared to the forces I at my disssposal in my world.

[Keeping up appearances here. Some of that does actually impress him. The living bombs and piranha plant things definitely sound interesting to Cobra.]

Yeah right. I doubt you've got even half as much manpower as I do!

[Becasue every villain is inferior to Bowser.]

My armies cover the entire Mushroom Kingdom! Land, sea, air, in deserts, forests, and haunted mansions... Even the undead bow to my whims!

[Haunted mansions...

Bowser, don't you know that using ghosts will eventually come back to haunt you?]

Oh please. You may have had those things, but the forces of Cobra are everywhere and are comprised of almost everything imaginable! My minions specialize in everything from cutting edge sssscience to sabotage to accounting! Biological and chemical weapons are commonplace, and things like your piranha plants, whatever those are, pale in comparsion to sssssome of the things created by Cobra scientists! As far as weaponry and vehicles go, the things at my disposal were limitless! Limitlessss!

You think I don't have my own vehicles engineers? Somebody's gotta build all my ships! And who cares about biological weapons?! None of that matters when you've got magic and invincibility on your side! If I wanted to, I could've wished for everything that you had and more and gotten it in a flash.

And you may claim that your forces are made up of everything, but I doubt they included gigantic balls of iron and teeth, dinosaurs, squids, and living flames!

And if you want political sabotage, I've been there, done that. My loyal Koopalings and I have transformed kings into harmless animals before! Not to mention kidnapped Princess Peach, the Mushroom Kingdom's own ruler. In fact, I recently dragged her castle into outer space with my own fortress, leaving nothing but wreckage in its place!

Ssssso? I had giant ssssnakes! Made out of lasers! And giant killer vines! And a giant germ that devoured everything in its path!

[Okay that last one was an accident, but still.]

And kidnapping the monarch and her castle? Impressive. But not as impressive as stealing an entire state from under the nose of the nation owning it! And I had all of thisss without magic or waiting for wishes to come true!

And I've had giant hands made outta brick that could easily flatten anything in their path! Minions made out of ice and snow. Enormous eyeballs, living tornadoes! And snakes made outta lasers might be fine and dandy, but I've had serpents made outta lava!

[And...]

There's no waiting with the star rod! It just so happens to be the most powerful tool in the world, capable of making my dreams a reality. And I stole it from the very Stars who created it, catapulting me into the ultimate position of power! After all, if I can do anything, who can even dream of stopping me?

Sssssnakes made out of lava?

[Okay, he's impressed by that one.

And will probably be stealing it once he gets back to his world.]

And if you're that unssstoppable with thisss Star Rod, how did someone take it from you in the first place?

Grrrrah, it's more like I was taken from it according to everybody else! Taken to this silly world as a silly grunt for some silly team.

Whoever designed those jump suits really needs to get their eyes checked. They can't seriously expect me to wear something that dumb!

Unfortunately, you have little choice. It's required at times.

[Cobra doesn't like the uniforms either.]

Luckily, most of the time you're free to dressss however you please.

Well, it's the dumbest requirement I ever heard of! And who do they think they are, ordering me around?

[Stupid team thinks they can control a King? Grrrgh.]

They think that they're the ones in charge here.

[Which Cobra Commander doesn't particularly care for.]

And they don't seem to care if anyone thinks otherwise.

Then I'll just have to prove otherwise! What's the worst they could do?

Force you to ssspend weeks in a cave with Slowpokes. Or throw you in lockup for an indefinite amount of time.

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