kingbowser | 01 - video/action for Goldenrod Rocket Base;

01 - video/action for Goldenrod Rocket Base;

[Those in the Rocket Base are sure to hear some... interesting sounds. Sounds of fists pounding, and of some guy... roaring? Yes, roaring. Seems one of the new recruits is a bit of an oddball.

And it won't be long until Bowser bursts into the hall, fists clenched, his lips pulled back to reveal some gigantic, pointed teeth... highly unnatural for a human. Behind him toddles a Turtwig, who rolls her eyes as she trails behind him. Why did she have to get stuck with a crazy one?]

Graaaah! When I get my hands on the one who did this to me, I'll smash 'em into the ground and take back what's rightfully mine! That Star Rod's gotta be around here somewhere...

[Somebody may want to intervene. This guy's packing a lot of muscle and some pretty huge fists, after all.]

[Later, once he figures out how to use the PokéGear, expect a shot of one very angry man... and also, teeth. Seriously, what's with this dude?]

Listen up, because I'm only gonna say this once! If you're the chump who placed this blasted curse on me, you better step forward now, or you'll be facing the full fury of the Koopa Troop! And as their King, nobody's allowed to make a mockery of me, you hear that?!

It was a gutsy move dragging me outta my castle and separating me from the Star Rod. The fact that you turned me into a fleshy mammal would almost impress me, if it weren't so infuriating! So, if you're smart, you'll step forward, beg for my mercy, and change me back! If not...

[He chuckles.]

Well, have it your way.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well in the end I just killed them both and had done with it.

[Ok Sollux didn't technically die he only had his eyes burnt out but shhh]

[...Welp.]

Well, that's one way to solve your problems.

['course, he has no plans to kill Peach. That would be counter productive!]

I didn't want to but they attacked me first, and that's what you get. [nod nod]

So it was self defense, huh?

[Brutal self defense, but that somehow makes it a little closer to T rated. Maybe.]

Well, I know one thing for sure! If I could get Mario outta my hair for good, it'd be a miracle. Even after I stomped him into the dirt with my invincibility, he's still trying to play hero.

Yeah, it was, ewen though that's apparently not good enough for some people.

Who is this Mario guy anyway?

That's because most people are a bunch of softies who get insulted at even the slightest sign of aggression.

[Huff.]

As for Mario, he's an infuriating pest. A so-called hero who always tries to put a stop to my plans!

[Oh he likes you]

Maybe next time you see him you should just murder him.

[He probably could wish him dead, actually, but that takes the fun out of it.]

I'd much rather watch him squirm as I take control of the whole Mushroom Kingdom. With the Star Rod in my clutches, only my wishes will come true, leaving those poor, pitiful citizens without hope. They'll wish their hearts out and find it doesn't matter!

And no matter how hard he tries, Mario will be left powerless, unable to free the Star Spirits, unable to whisk Peach away for the billionth time!

Edited 2012-11-19 22:33 (UTC)

[All he's getting from that is...]

So what you're sayin' is you have caliganous feelin's for the guy, which is why you keep fighting him instead of just gettin' rid a' him.

Caliwhat? I don't even know what you're talking about!

[Silly troll quadrants. What are those?]

When you hawe feelin's like that for someone you don't want to actually kill them, you just hawe an intense riwalry with them. You want to ruin their days and make them acknowledge you as the superior person and make sure eweryone around you knows it too.

Then after you still want to sort of make out with them.

[Okay, Eridan. You had him for that first part, but once he reaches the bit about making out, Bowser's eyes widen in absolute horror.

Horror.

Cough, sputter. That's... definitely not E-rated material right there, no sir!]

M-Make out?! Why the heck would I wanna do something like that?!

Like I said, you sounded like you had a strong black riwalry goin' on there.

[It's pretty easy to get !!]

Well, I've never heard of this 'black rivalry' in the first place! Or any rivalry that involves kissing, for that matter.

[Yuck.]

Yeah I know, your under-deweloped human culter and all that.

Except I'm not a human in the first place!

[Gosh. Insinuating that he, the mighty king of the koopas follows 'human culture'.]

..What are you then if you ain't human?

The whole point of my message was me complaining that I got turned into one!

[Grah! And now he's just reminded of how much he hates this new body.]

I'm the king of the Koopas. Before I got dragged here, I had horns, a thick shell coated in spikes, armor-like scales... Everything about me was a million times better than this soft, puny form!

Oh yeah.

[Whoops he got distracted by complaining about his woes]

Horns, huh? I used to hawe horns too and us trolls were a lot tougher than humans. I agree with you on that since really bein' anythin' is probably better than bein' human.

Horns make everything look better, if you ask me!

[Muahahaha...]

But at least I don't have tiny, flat teeth or skinny little arms. There's still something to keep me from looking like Donkey Kong's deranged cousin.

[Because humans are totally like apes, okay. Only less hairy.]

Who's Donkey Kong?

[He'd totally agree with you if he knew what that was.]

Humans hawe no strength and not ewen any real defense. Hawe you seen how thin the skin is? It would take nothing to pierce it an' let all the blood out, it's sort of pathetic.

Edited 2012-11-20 05:56 (UTC)

Oh, just a dumb gorilla with a stupid tie. Nobody you need to worry about.

[Besides, DK has his own enemy in K. Rool. Or whatever his name is.]

But yes, that's the problem with human bodies. They have no defenses! Us Koopas can slip into our shells and still put up a fight. Humans just have clothes and maybe armor, if they're lucky.

But I'll give credit where it's due. Mario's a human, but he's the only adversary worthy of facing me!

[Because Luigi is totally a loser, anyway. Who cares about Green Stache?]

Oh. Well yeah I think they actually ARE related to monkeys.

I thought about lettin' this one human girl be my riwal once, but she's nothin' but a fraud, just a fakey fake witch with trickery who doesn't actually hawe any real talent.

[Not because she rejecting him or anything, like literally every other person.]

Well, Mario's something else. Even against my endless armies, he always managed to find his way to my lair and best me at every turn. And, believe me, it's been going on for years! You'd think that after a while he'd fall into a lava pit or get crushed by a falling Thwomp, but noooo! He always comes crawling back.

You don't see a rival like that every day, and that's all the more reason to keep him alive, that way I can really savor my new found power.

[Yeah you're really not doin' anything to deter him from thinking there's a budding hatemance going on there bro]

I'm Eridan by the way. So if you need information about this place an' don't want to deal with, urgh, just most a' the people here, you can find me.

01 - video/action for Goldenrod Rocket Base;

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