kingbowser | 01 - video/action for Goldenrod Rocket Base;

[Those in the Rocket Base are sure to hear some... interesting sounds. Sounds of fists pounding, and of some guy... roaring? Yes, roaring. Seems one of the new recruits is a bit of an oddball.

And it won't be long until Bowser bursts into the hall, fists clenched, his lips pulled back to reveal some gigantic, pointed teeth... highly unnatural for a human. Behind him toddles a Turtwig, who rolls her eyes as she trails behind him. Why did she have to get stuck with a crazy one?]

Graaaah! When I get my hands on the one who did this to me, I'll smash 'em into the ground and take back what's rightfully mine! That Star Rod's gotta be around here somewhere...

[Somebody may want to intervene. This guy's packing a lot of muscle and some pretty huge fists, after all.]

[Later, once he figures out how to use the PokéGear, expect a shot of one very angry man... and also, teeth. Seriously, what's with this dude?]

Listen up, because I'm only gonna say this once! If you're the chump who placed this blasted curse on me, you better step forward now, or you'll be facing the full fury of the Koopa Troop! And as their King, nobody's allowed to make a mockery of me, you hear that?!

It was a gutsy move dragging me outta my castle and separating me from the Star Rod. The fact that you turned me into a fleshy mammal would almost impress me, if it weren't so infuriating! So, if you're smart, you'll step forward, beg for my mercy, and change me back! If not...

[He chuckles.]

Well, have it your way.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

["My evil" oh god give him a break. It takes a lot of Crow's willpower not to burst out laughing on the spot, but he does let out a small chuckle.]

Suuuuure. And what else, oh evil one? Wait, lemme guess-- you'll take over the world. In which case you might wanna get in line, since that ain't very original.

[Take Cobra Commander, for example.]

... Actually, what are you if you ain't human? A pony?

[Because as far as he's concerned, that's what people who weren't people before Johto usually are.]

Grah! I'm nothing near as pitiful as a pony! No, I'm a great and powerful Koopa capable of wiping the floor with a runt like you. If I weren't stuck in this human shell, this whole city would go up in flames!

[Because he's angry, okay. Destruction happens to be very therapeutic!]

"Koopa"? [Koopa.. Koopa... ] Nope, never heard of anything like that.

[A light shrug.]

Sounds kinda lame, though.

Lame? LAME?!

[Grrrraaaaaarrrgh!]

A gigantic, horned beast with terrifying claws, a shell coated in spikes, and blazing hot fire breath is not lame! It's the definition of awesome!

So you mean it's like...

[Hold on, he's trying to picture it. HMMM...]

... an overgrown, fire-breathing turtle?

[Gaaaah! When he says it like that, that sucks all the coolness right out of it! Pardon Bowser as he bares those nasty teeth of his again. And stomps.]

My size makes me intimidating!

[~~Dang, what big teeth you have--~~ There's never been much coolness there to begin with, in his opinion. Then again, to Crow, things are only awesome if they have a beak and feathers.]

Bigger doesn't mean it's better.

Of course it means better!

[Wow. This guy has to be the biggest idiot he's met all day! ...next to that chicken runt, anyway.]

Bigger means stronger and more devastating!

[You could call them kind of bird-brains. ~~okay that was terrible~~]

It means slow as hell and much less agile.

[And in the eyes of someone who relies on speed in as many ways as Crow does, it's a huge handicap.]

You don't need speed if you can hit hard enough! Those small, agile types are about as frail as a piece of paper. I'd rather be sturdy as a wall of bricks.

Sounds like being dumb as a brick comes in the package, too.

You're the one who's dumb if you think being agile means a thing against something that could flatten you like a pancake!

Besides, if I was dumb, I wouldn't be able to come up with half of my sinister schemes! Or build fortresses full of traps and my own personal air ships.

[Granted, he probably doesn't build all of them, but the Koopa King definitely has a hand in it. Gwahahaha!]

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