kingbowser | 06 - video/text to Rockets;

[The feed begins in pitch blackness before a faint flame flickers on in the background, courtesy of one currently unseen Magmortar. The light shifts throughout the room, showcasing one snarling Swampert, two hissing Ninetales, and a buzzing Venomoth, whom some may find familiar. A Torterra stomps by with a roar and a cackle, slipping past those brainwashed 'mons. There's also a sleeping Salamence curled up in the corner, quite massive. Also likely familiar...

And the camera pans to Bowser with a helmet-wearing Wartortle perched on his shoulder.]

Gwa ha ha ha! I don't know about you chumps, but I had a great Valentine's Day! While you were off panicking in the streets, I got to watch the whole thing unfold. It made news broadcasts! I'd say that's one heck of an accomplishment in just a few short months.

[The Wartortle nods, rubbing his hands together.]

Gwaaarl. Gweheh!

Yeah, you said it, runt! Even that little test run's just a tiny sampling of what my Koopa Crew has to offer! But don't worry, you'll see what I mean soon enough...

[Once he, uh. Comes up with more concrete plans.]

by the way, i got details on that radio tower attack
i was there

didn't catch that many faces, but i did catch one. one who deserves to get smashed into the dirt
sasuke the cinnamon runt

ninja kid, dumb headband
the point is, he was there, and he wasn't alone. it's awfully fishy if ya ask me

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...Oh. It's that pony girl.

Well then.]

What? You don't think I'm bad? But you're talking to the Mushroom Kingdom's A-list villain!

I think... you have a good part in you that is trying to get out. You try to push it aside, but it's still there.

What? Where'd you get an idea like that?

[He's conveniently refraining to mention how he kinda... helped defeat Smithy. Yup.]

[She smiles.]

Do you remember that strange day when we all got our bodies back? How we had tea and cake together? That was lovely.

...Yeah, well, that was for the cake! And even evil villains need to take five every now and then.

[Darn it, Fluttershy. Why are you so nice? >|]

But you let your workers relax too. We were all able to have a nice time. You can have fun and enjoy others' company.

That was... It was totally an exception and not a rule! And it's not like that stopped the city from burning to a puny crisp.

[Grumblegrumble...

Oh, and that Wartortle's scratching his head, fiddling with his hammer. He seems a tiny bit annoyed with the situation too.]

Hey! Nobody plays mind games with the boss!

[Bowser didn't understand that, of course, but. Eh, if one of his minions is peeved, that's a good sign, right?]

I'm not trying to play any games... I honestly think your trainer could be a very good and respectable person, if he allowed himself.

But that's so boring! Nice guys never get to have real fun!

[Huff. Evil's where it's at, lady.

Bowser, in the mean time, just looks at the camera with a bewildered expression. This is so weird.]

Grah! You're one of the only chumps who'd dare say something like that. Even Princess Peach knows I'm rotten to the core.

...

Didn't you say you were the one rescuing Peach from Mario?

...Uh.

[Aw, crud! Did he seriously just let that slip?

Hrmph. Well... that complicates matters. Or maybe it doesn't! Maybe it just proves how awesomely evil he is.]

Okay, fine! I kidnap her on a regular basis. Part of the whole bad guy gig. I just made up the whole rescue thing to mess with your head. Also a villainous act, by the way!

[She tilts her head.]

But you've never kidnapped anyone here.

That's because I've been busy working my army into a rough, tough, evil machine!

[There's an audible sigh off camera. Snorceror then sends Bowser a telepathic message, Don't make your schemes too obvious, your ruthlessness. After all, the pink, crying whelp of a Gym Leader has yet to realize our intent...

Of course, the 'Gear wouldn't have picked that up, so it looks like Bowser just paused awkwardly.

Right, back on track!]

But I'll tell ya straight-up that I have tons of amazingly sinister plans forming in my head as we speak!

But kidnapping is not one of them.

[At the very least, we will eliminate the possibility of one bad deed! Then we can get rid of the rest.]

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't! Much as I love to boast about my evil, there's a time and a place for it.

[...Darn it, Fluttershy. You're so persistent. Especially for a pink-haired former pony.]

[Friendship is meticulous.]

Good! Okay!

[...Wow, she really missed the implications there, huh?

Ah well. At least she's rolling with it. Gwar har har har!]

So, yeah. You just keep... doing that happy pony thing. I guess.